What Is Shut Up Evan?
Shut Up Evan began as a tattoo, one that’s etched into my left lower arm. I had reluctantly begun my training for the 2017 New York City marathon. Whining became an essential part of my process early on, and my best friend began to regularly command me to “shut up, Evan” over my whines. A tattoo was born shortly thereafter: SHUT UP EVAN.
Then, three years later: a podcast of the same name. Then, three years after that: this newsletter, the name now canon.
Shut Up Evan, in this form, is a free weekly newsletter focused on a theme, usually of the pop-culture variety. You’ll get detailed breakdowns and analysis of topics ranging from Gwyneth Paltrow’s ski trial to And Just Like That…’s Carrie and Seema having it out on Madison Avenue, exclusive interviews with famous folks like James Marsden, Parker Posey and Greta Lee, unfiltered theater and film reviews and occasional stories about grief and Internet trends.
Who is Evan?
My story begins at age 7, when my parents entered me into a competition in search of the next glasses model for a local eyewear brand. I won.
And though the offers didn’t exactly roll in afterward — not a single one, if memory serves — I see this as the beginning of my origin story.
I’m a BFA in theater-weaponizing homosexual who vacillates between writer, editor, journalist and cultural commentator, whatever that means. I’ve written a book about Buffy the Vampire Slayer (featuring interviews with Sarah Michelle Gellar (!) and Stacey Abrams (!!), New York Magazine cover stories on the ladies of Euphoria, and was named one of Fast Company’s Most Creative People in Business 2021.
You might know me from my Instagram. Here’s a 2012 photo of the Sarah Michelle Gellar life-size stand-up poster that my parents bought from Japan next to an Albert Einstein poster my roommate put up in our East Village apartment. One of my earliest celebrity interactions comes from (appropriately) Sarah Jessica Parker in 2014: “Here comes the storm,” she tweeted with a link to an Instagram photo that I’m gonna go out on a limb and guess featured a storm. I replied: “You are the rainbow that comes afterward,” which can either be read as cute or creepy. “Ah come on!” she replied. “I net you say that to all the girls.” What a typo! It wasn’t long after that I had my first public interaction with the individual of whom I consider myself the world’s preeminent historian: Sarah Michelle Gellar. “What do you miss most about living in NYC?” I asked her during her #AskRealSMG live tweet session. (God, I miss early Twitter.) “Walking,” she responded. I’m sure I lost my shit. Oh, and here’s my 26th birthday invitation which featured Sarah Michelle Gellar swaddling her son with my face Photoshopped over his. On the cute or creepy spectrum, I’m leaning creepy on this one.
Why should you become a paid subscriber?
First and foremost because operating a newsletter, in the same vein as a newspaper or digital publication, takes a lot of work. Writing the stories is one thing, but ensuring that they are all cleanly edited, include photos with captions, and arrive, without fail, on a weekly basis, requires a small but mighty team dedicated to creating premium content.
Second and secondmost, paid subscribers receive access to dedicated weekly paid subscriber-only posts. These posts are where we let down our hair more and speak with less filter. Paid subscribers will also enjoy complete access to the entire Shut Up Evan archive and the ability to comment.
Some other big moments throughout my career:
December 20, 2017: Kim Cattrall blocked me
November 29, 2018: I get fired from my job and Dorinda Medley tweets telling people to hire me
May 7, 2018: I wear an Asos suit on the red carpet of my first Met Gala
December 29, 2018: AOC responds to my tweet asking for her thoughts on Valentina’s performance on Drag Race: All Stars
February 2, 2019: Olympian Gus Kenworthy calls me his president
October 16, 2019: American Idol runner-up turned gay Twitter beloved turned Trump donor Katharine McPhee issues support for my unwavering love for SMG
November 15, 2019: Olivia Wilde quotes Oprah Winfrey in calling me “the mother [she] never had”
December 19, 2019: I cry meeting Joy Behar
April 10, 2020: Andy Cohen wishes me a happy birthday, saying that having a birthday during the pandemic is “the best of luck,” whatever that means
July 14, 2020: AOC gives me her detailed thoughts on Drag Race: All Stars 5
September 20, 2020: Sarah Paulson sings my name during an IG live
October 23, 2020: Kim Cattrall unblocks me on Twitter
April 30, 2021: I appear on Comedy Central with a lower third that reads “gay man with opinions”
August 24, 2021: I make first contact with Jennifer Coolidge
August 27, 2021: Channing Tatum follows back and tells me “haha you funny”
November 25, 2021: Jennifer Coolidge and I meet in person for the very first time
December 6, 2021: Sarah Jessica Parker invites me as her guest to the premiere of And Just Like That…
Here we are:
January 18, 2022: Tommy Dorfman sends me thee boots
March 7, 2022: I grab lunch with Sarah Michelle Gellar and allow her to take the selfie on her cell phone — big mistake
March 15, 2022: My Buffy book comes out and I celebrate by visiting the iconic Torrance High School, where the first three seasons of the show were shot
March 22, 2022: I wear way too much foundation for my debut appearance on Watch What Happens Live
May 2, 2022: I attend my second Met Gala, upgrading my suit from Asos to Thom Browne
August 14, 2022: I become the proud owner of the chicest wind chime ever
September 10, 2022: I get engaged
November 6, 2022: I meet And Just Like That… breakout star Drew Barrymore when I tape an episode of her podcast
January 23, 2023: Katie Couric surprises me with a video from Mike White in which he calls me the “most valuable TV hypeman” and accidentally gives away the location of the third season of The White Lotus
January 25, 2023: Sarah Michelle Gellar and I finally take a good photo together
March 2, 2023: Jennifer Coolidge and I spot Paul Mescal at the table next to us at Sunset Tower and are both too shook to say hello
March 4, 2023: Jamie Lee Curtis follows me on Instagram
March 27, 2023: I attempt to cast the role of attorney Kristin Vanorman in the Gwyneth Paltrow ski trial made-for-television movie that does not (yet) exist
May 2, 2023: Ronald Gladden makes me a Cameo
June 25, 2023: I party with Mike White at a Loewe after party in Paris and he allows me to snap this pic of him wearing bootleg White Lotus merch
July 1, 2023: Sarah Jessica Parker follows me
July 5, 2023: My first Kim Cattrall interaction since the unblocking
July 21, 2023: Jeremy Allen White follows me
August 29, 2023: SJP confirms that she, like you, is a reader of this newsletter