'White Lotus: All-Stars' Dream Cast

Nicole Mossbacher! Valentina! Pam! Let’s do this!

I hope you enjoy The White Lotus finale, much in the same way Carrie Coon hoped Meghan McCain did. And now that we can put a bow on Season 3, attention has, of course, turned to what’s ahead for HBO’s buzziest hit. "Survivor is not that dissimilar to [The White Lotus],” Mike White told NPR in 2022, “which is a lot of times just people kind of kvetching about who's tending the fire or they're hangry because they haven't had anything to eat.” It only makes sense then that, like Survivor, discussion has turned to the longshot possibility of a White Lotus: All-Stars season, something Survivor established back in 2003.

“I’ve heard rumors of them doing an All-Star season,” Patrick Schwarzenegger joked in a recent Hollywood Reporter interview. “I’d love to do that,” White responded. And thus the door was opened to the possibility of bringing back some characters we thought we might never see again.

“They could get all the douche guys in one hotel together,” Schwarzenegger offered.

“Mike said that one day when we were on set, he was like, ‘Oh my God, it’d be so good to get you, Jake Lacy and Theo James in the same room.’”

That’s one idea. Casey Bloys, CEO of HBO, weighed in too, suggesting that maybe Kitty Patton, Molly Shannon’s character from Season 1, and Victoria Ratliff, Parker Posey’s character from Season 3, know each other. I like the possibility!

For me, it’s a combo of characters I’d like to see back on my screen and storylines that feel like they have more juice in their lemon. That, and the appeal of certain characters bisecting with those you never thought could exist in the same timeline. For instance, what would it be like to see Sritala and Harper and Olivia Mossbacher kiki’ing? To quote Mo'Nique: I would like to see it.

I did put a call out on Instagram asking for who you’d want to see back, and I want to list out some of the honorable mentions before we get to my list: Olivia Mossbacher (Sydney Sweeney), Quinn Mossbacher (Fred Hechinger), Lani (Jolene Purdy), Shane’s suitcase, Harper Spiller (Aubrey Plaza), Lucia Greco (Simona Tobasco), Portia (Haley Lu Richardson), Sritala Hollinger (Lek Patravadi), Saxon Ratliff (Patrick Schwarzenegger), Frank (Sam Rockwell), the blender, Theo James’s prosthetic and, unsurprisingly, Lorazepam.

Below, I’m rounding up three former check-ins from each of the three seasons (plus a bonus character) to create the ultimate All-Stars season.

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Nicole Mossbacher

This is my fallen comrade in the sense that she’s too forgotten an icon in my estimation. Nicole gave us one of The White Lotus’s first breakout moments when she tore into Rachel (“You wrote that? You’re kidding. That was a fucked up piece.”) She consistently delivered blistering takedowns, like when she responded to her husband Mark, attempting to critique tribal hierarchical thinking by saying:

“My feeling is that most of these activists don't really want to dismantle the systems of economic exploitation, not the ones that benefit them, which are all global, by the way. They just want a better seat at the table of tyranny.”

But my favorite Nicole exchange, and the one that earned her a spot on this list, was this moment with her daughter Olivia:

Olivia: Mom, you can't just open the doors.

Nicole: Why not?

Olivia: Paula's an HSP.

Nicole: What is that?

Paula: Highly sensitive person.

Nicole: That's not real.

Olivia: Mom, it's a clinical diagnosis.

Nicole: Really? Who's her physician? Lena Dunham?

Kitty Patton

Kitty only appears in two episodes of the first season, playing the overbearing and overly-protective mother of Shane, but she makes her presence known as the type of woman who most certainly would have been present at Claire Popovich’s baby shower weekend. Her interests, apart from her son, include one thing: money. To quote her:

“Money, money, money, money, money. And if you have money, then that's what you bring to the table. You don't need to work. You throw parties.”

She deserves a second vacation — and one where she can really villain-out.

Kai

When you look back at Survivor: All Stars, what effectively turned Boston Rob Mariano into a legend was the opportunity to have a second go in a new environment. Nobody got more shortchanged than Kai, a hunky bellhop who got dickmatized by Paula and ultimately caught in her web, a web that wound him up in jail. Much in the same way that Belinda was given a redemption arc this season, I think Kai deserves his time in the sun — and maybe some retribution on the Mossbacher family and Paula.

Daphne Sullivan

I can’t think of a more fan-demanded returnee than Daphne Sullivan, the second-most famous cultural Daphne after Daphne Blake, of course. No character felt more onion-like than Daphne, who revealed her intellect and common sense in fits and starts throughout the season, but in no instance more blatantly than by telling Ethan:

“I think you just do whatever you have to do not to feel like a victim of life.”

In that sense, Daphne became about as close to a hero as one can get on a show like this. Plus, it might be fun to see Daphne on vacation without the ‘ole Cameron ball and chain to keep her on her best behavior. Plus, more face acting!

Valentina

That’s my girl. With Armond dead and Fabian useless and drenched, somebody needs to crack the whip, and Valentina is the woman for the job. She ran her White Lotus like the navy, and she deserves a chance to return some honor to the White Lotus chain after the mass murder that just occurred, a mass murder that never would have gone down on her watch.

Abby Di Grasso

Though she never appeared on our screen, Abby Di Grasso, voiced by Laura Dern (a previous collaborator of Mike White’s on Enlightened), made her presence known in a big way after snipping her husband Dominic down to size. “Fuck off,” she tells him. I’d like to see her telling the White Lotus staff to “fuck off” after having an Amy Jellicoe-style breakdown. 

Kate Bohr

That’s my mother. My Independent. My bean-lover. My Christian lady. My cunty bobbed queen. I ride hard for Kate, my favorite character on Season 3 of The White Lotus. I need her back, with Dave and the kids, and I need it now. Kate did such a good job of holding the center while the friend group fractured. And while she excelled in that role, I need to see Kate spiralling. Bring back my girl.

Pam

How wonderful for us would it be if the breakout star of Season 3 made her triumphant return. Imagine Valentina v. Pam. Or maybe they come together to maximize the power of their joint slay? Or maybe her and Kai get it on! The possibilities are endless and I want to see them all play out.

Victoria Ratliff

In theory, it’s likely a longshot that the comfortable life Victoria Ratliff is accustomed to will have survived the fallout of the events of Season 3. But even if it doesn’t, there’s always a way to bring back a fan favorite. Maybe she’s left Timothy and found a bald white man she once so reviled or maybe her friend Claire Popovich extended an invite for her to join her on her vacation out of sympathy for all Victoria has been through, what with the loss of her entire fortune and maybe her husband to a prison sentence. 

Guest On Beach Deckchair #1

Angelina Keeley of Survivor: David vs. Goliath fame’s Season 2 cameo was seismic. No small parts, just small actors? Exactly. Angelina devoured her limited screentime as Guest On Beach Deckchair #1 (or maybe she’s Guest on Beach Deckchair #2, inconclusive) in the premiere episode of Season 2. It’s clear there’s more story to tell there! Get her a jacket and check her in immediately.

Tanya McQuoid

She may be dead, and I’ll admit that’s going to make her reemergence challenging, but not impossible! Maybe Coolidge returns as Tanya’s mysterious twin sister? Or maybe we just Laurie Strode her and bring her back without explanation and just consider this an alternative timeline? I’m no Mike White, and I’ll leave it to him to sort out the logistics, but I’ll just say that we need the Tanya McQuoid/Victoria Ratliff link-up expeditiously.