I lost my dad just last month & it’s been healing to see others talk about their grief of losing their dads just like I did. I was on a vacation half way around the world when I heard my dad had died. I live in New Zealand and was due to fly to New York for a vacation. My dad was sick in hospital but on the day I left, things were looking up so I felt ok about leaving, although I gave him the biggest hug, not knowing if this would be the last time I would see him. He wanted me to go so much & was metaphorically pushing me onto the damn plane. A week into my NYC trip I found out he died. He was surrounded by lots of family and friends but it was the hardest thing not being there right at the time and I still feel jealous that I wasn’t there like the rest of my family were to just be there when he was dying & took his last breaths. As if he couldn’t have just waited for me. It’s a weird feeling that I know will pass. The flight back (17.5 hours!!) was metaphorically & literally THE longest but weirdly smoothest flight and I think that was my dad guiding me back home. It probably would’ve been a good 24 hours after leaving that I got to see my dad but lost it when I arrived. Still coming to terms with things although i feel light and happy most of the time because that’s what he was like. Amazing man & father he was.
My brother (21), my sister (28) and I (30) joined 17 days ago. We knew it was coming and watched as he got so sick so quickly, but it still doesn't feel real. Nothing and everything matters anymore. I wish we could reject our membership but I've found deep solace in reading this, even just for a moment. Thank you Evan 💕
Oh man oh man. I've just discovered your Substack, so this comment is coming a bit late haha.
Thank you for writing this and opening up this Q&A that allowed folks to share their stories. I couldn't read everybody's submissions because it got a little overwhelming, it's like reading my diary.
As my father's 7th death anniversary approaches, I have been thinking a lot about this abstract Dead Dad Club that exists around me. It just so happens that I have basically 10 friends, and 4 of them lost their dad when they were teenagers, just like me. I feel like it's a personality trait, that we DDC members find ourselves without intending to and do connect on a deep level somehow...
💔💔💕 Long distance group hug to Evan and everyone who contributed to this lovely piece, or anyone who reads it for comfort or in solidarity.
I lost my dad just last month & it’s been healing to see others talk about their grief of losing their dads just like I did. I was on a vacation half way around the world when I heard my dad had died. I live in New Zealand and was due to fly to New York for a vacation. My dad was sick in hospital but on the day I left, things were looking up so I felt ok about leaving, although I gave him the biggest hug, not knowing if this would be the last time I would see him. He wanted me to go so much & was metaphorically pushing me onto the damn plane. A week into my NYC trip I found out he died. He was surrounded by lots of family and friends but it was the hardest thing not being there right at the time and I still feel jealous that I wasn’t there like the rest of my family were to just be there when he was dying & took his last breaths. As if he couldn’t have just waited for me. It’s a weird feeling that I know will pass. The flight back (17.5 hours!!) was metaphorically & literally THE longest but weirdly smoothest flight and I think that was my dad guiding me back home. It probably would’ve been a good 24 hours after leaving that I got to see my dad but lost it when I arrived. Still coming to terms with things although i feel light and happy most of the time because that’s what he was like. Amazing man & father he was.
My dad passed last April and since then I have returned to this post, often. Thank you for this offering.
My brother (21), my sister (28) and I (30) joined 17 days ago. We knew it was coming and watched as he got so sick so quickly, but it still doesn't feel real. Nothing and everything matters anymore. I wish we could reject our membership but I've found deep solace in reading this, even just for a moment. Thank you Evan 💕
Oh man oh man. I've just discovered your Substack, so this comment is coming a bit late haha.
Thank you for writing this and opening up this Q&A that allowed folks to share their stories. I couldn't read everybody's submissions because it got a little overwhelming, it's like reading my diary.
As my father's 7th death anniversary approaches, I have been thinking a lot about this abstract Dead Dad Club that exists around me. It just so happens that I have basically 10 friends, and 4 of them lost their dad when they were teenagers, just like me. I feel like it's a personality trait, that we DDC members find ourselves without intending to and do connect on a deep level somehow...