The 81st Golden Globes Recap

very Wendy Williams voice What was that?

Jan 09, 2024

My love for award shows is unwavering, despite the fact that more often than not, they’re at best cringe and at worst boring. The 81st annual Golden Globes did not disappoint… if you went in knowing a mess was imminent. Was it The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City Season 4 finale-level of entertaining? Not so much, but memorable moments worth talking about for 48-72 hours were offered up aplenty. Do I think any moments transcended into the canon of greatest moments? Not so. But that’s a high bar to clear for good reason.

My Golden Globes weekend kicked off on Friday night at Chateau Marmont for the W Magazine Best Performances Issue party. I had the opportunity to catch up with James Marsden, Ayo Edebiri, Andrew Scott, Colman Domingo, Celine Song, Danielle Brooks, Kaia Gerber, Molly Gordon, Rachel Sennott, Zachary Quinto and more, finally meet Internet friends of mine including Quinta Brunson, J. Smith Cameron and Franz Rogowski and met for the first time a slew of legends including Gabrielle Union, Kathryn Hahn, Claire Danes, Julia Garner and more. I didn’t get a chance to meet Natasha Lyonne, and that remains troubling. I was able to snap some pretty great, albeit not Juergen Teller-level, photos of some of the stars.

But what I really want to talk about is the red carpet correspondents on a night that can best be described as very pedestrian, very cringe. “It managed to make E!’s recent pre-show efforts look like a Christopher Nolan production,” Amy O’Dell wrote in her red carpet review. Even the celebs themselves seemed to sense that something was off. As Quinta Brunson put it during one particularly off-kilter interview ahead of the ceremony: “These interviews are, like, out of control tonight.” Just how bad was it? Some are calling for the return of Giuliana Rancic. It’s bad!

Now, before I go all the way off, I want to acknowledge a few things. Red carpet journalism is tough. You have to be incredibly agile, bouncing from person to person, many of whom have no want or purpose in talking to the interviewer other than fulfilling an obligation. I had a friend reach out to ask if I would ever do it. “Yes,” I said. Then I thought about it some more and added, “Though I don’t know if I’d be any better than them.” I also want to recognize that a lot of on-air correspondents are being fed topics or questions by a producer. Also also: I understand the gray area between low-hanging fruit and wanting to stoke the iron on a hot topic. But with all that said: What the actual fuck?

It seems, in a sense, that we’ve transitioned from red carpet interviews to what often seems like trolling celebrities in an effort to get something meme-able. It’s funny having me of all people comment on this in the negative, but I really do feel like the best red carpet moments (like Glenn Close reacting to Billy Porter’s tuxedo in 2019) simply can’t be orchestrated. They just happen. The magic is that a camera was there to catch it.

Ayo Edebiri had to endure not one, not two, but three interviews in which the newly-minted Golden Globe-winner was asked about her co-star Jeremy Allen White’s new Calvin Klein ad. “What did you think, speaking of The Bear, when this came out?” Ayo was asked during an Access Hollywood interview before the show. “I’m happy for him, that’s my boy, [but] I do want people to understand that that’s my coworker.” Then came Entertainment Tonight. “The ad! Do I have to clue you in about his ad? Because everybody in the world is talking about Jeremy’s underwear ad.”

Ayo’s response:

Then, after the ceremony in which her and her co-star Jeremy Allen White had just picked up trophies, Extra TV decided to use their few minutes of time with them and the entire cast of the award-winning series to show a giant, printed poster of White’s Calvin Klein ad. “What went through your mind when you all saw this?” the interviewer asked them. “My God,” White responded, clearly embarrassed by the whole thing. Edebiri sprung into action, taking the poster and turning it backwards against a nearby wall. “I’m putting it away. I’m putting it away from my boy! That’s my boy! This is a work function. You gotta separate the art from the artist.”

Don’t even get me started on the Jacob Elordi bathwater candle, a fun Internet joke that came and went until it was pulled from its dusty grave.

Now, about the show itself, the first in a six-week season known as “awards”. The biggest moment I’ve seen circulating, to no one’s surprise but some’s chagrin: Selena Gomez supposedly telling Taylor Swift (a nominee for the first-ever award for box office achievement, a bizarre consolation prize category), “I asked for a picture with [Timothée] and [Kylie] said no.” This news cycle was punted further with this People Magazine headline: “Selena Gomez Was 'Absolutely Not' Gossiping About Timothée Chalamet and Kylie Jenner at Golden Globes (Exclusive).” Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn. Another dominant headline was a smooch shared between Timmy and Kylie. I stand by my early assessment of their relationship when I likened it to the scene in Barbie where Stereotypical Barbie asks, “Do you guys ever think about dying?

What else! What else! Jennifer Lawrence mouthing, “If I don’t win, I’m leaving” to the camera when her category (Best Actress in a Musical or Comedy Motion Picture) was called was cute. Do I think it needed to spawn a news cycle? No. But that’s something I noticed about last night’s ceremony that I think is a sad trend: the mining of every moment for content as opposed to there being some level of curation. Ben Affleck approaching his friend Matt Damon became a viral tweet with the caption “Matt Damon is the only ray of light Ben Affleck has in his dark and miserable life.” A mere cutaway to Bradley Cooper was enough to set Twitter ablaze mocking him for what many perceive as smug, “pick me” energy. I get it. As my friend Tom wrote online, “Watching the Golden Globes the way god intended: by half heartedly following the reactions on here instead of actually watching them.” But I do think in an era of Twitter where everything seems to be mysteriously semi-viral, it makes everything, even the fleeting, feel deceptively sticky.

Shall we get to the clothes? I’d be lying if I said it was a terrific night for clothing. Overall red carpet grade: C+. Serviceable. Not devoid of glamor, but not brimming with it. Safe. Not whimsical, save for a few (Hunter Schafer, Natasha Lyonne). But not hurting the eyes. Fun, but unmemorable. We continue to see these juggernauts (Louis Vuitton, Schiaparelli, Valentino) taking up so much space. I welcome some fresher, emerging brands to this stage, and in that sense tip my hat to Rachel Brosnahan’s Sergio Hudson moment. As for the overwhelming presence of Dolce & Gabbana? To quote Meredith Marks: “I am so tired of people trying to hurt us.”

Overall Best Dressed

Hunter Schafer in custom Prada, styled by Dara.