Late to the Party: Discovering (and Falling for) 'Love on the Spectrum'

And falling in love with Connor, Madison, James, Dani and co.

We are living in the age of the dip-a-toe viewing. Television is now saturated with (in some instances by design) the kind of shows not intended to draw your attention, but to serve as ambient entertainment, or, as the New York Times described it: the kind of thing you can watch with one eye while folding the laundry, paying bills or scrolling through social media. In a sense, we’ve helped birth the emotional support TV show that’s simply there for us vs. a paradigm that used to rely on us showing up for it. 

As such, a lot of shows seemed to be designed with width, not depth, in mind. Love on the Spectrum is in so many ways an antidote. But not just to that! It also quells (to some extent) my fear that empathy and compassion are no longer commonplace societal characteristics. I see this not just in the characters on this show, a group of young people living with autism and in search of romantic companionship, but also in the broad fanbase of this show, who seem to champion this cast akin to a football team on the cusp of playoff season.

“Are you watching Love On the Spectrum?” my podcast co-host Sean asked me on a recent episode of Drop Your Buffs. “What’s that?” I asked. It’s funny now that I’m both indoctrinated and card carrying to remember a time, just weeks ago, when I didn’t know about my pals Connor and Madison and James and Dani and Tanner and Pari. There are few reality shows that are able to really penetrate these days, and that’s largely due to both their expanding omnipresence and the creative stiflement of the form, but Love on the Spectrum is a near-perfect example of nuanced, heartfelt, charming, sweet but never saccharine and honest storytelling. It’s illuminating without ever delving into Afterschool Special territory and presents its subjects both honestly but also with care.

After first launching in Australia and earning praise (“It is frequently very funny, but crucially, that is never at the expense of anyone on camera”), the series moved to the U.S. in 2022 where it gained immediate acclaim in its first season and took home three Emmy Awards. The latest season features three OG cast members (Dani, James and Abbey), three returning cast members who joined in season 2 (Connor, Tanner and David) and two newbies (Madison and Pari). But as a first-time viewer to the show (who binged all seven episodes at once), everyone and everything about this show was new to me.

I’m not big into dating shows, so this was new territory for me in a lot of ways. I’ve mostly outgrown The Real Housewives and find the majority of my reality consumption to be dedicated to competition reality (namely Survivor, RuPaul’s Drag Race, The Traitors and the many copycats that exist in that ilk). But I was immediately drawn in here by the character, all so distinctly rendered and immediately lovable. There’s a gentleness to this show that I think is its most effective weapon, but also a willingness to showcase (but not highlight) the discomfort that comes from dating — especially first dates.

I think it’s an especially strong ensemble in showcasing the expansiveness of neurodivergent people. If you’re like me, and have little knowledge or experience (that you know of) of people living with autism, it’s a great window into their lives, their homes, their families, their interests and their quirks. It’s hard to pick a favorite among them — there truly are no weak links — but I’d have to rank Madison and Connor as my favorites, with James closely behind (Dani is an honorary nominee in this, but gets surprisingly little screen time in this season). Interestingly, they represent all three categories of castmember: OG, returnee and newbie.

Madison is a 27-year-old from Boston who loves American Girl dolls and finds comfort in the children's show The Wiggles. She ends up finding love with Tyler, her “cowboy sweetheart,” as she refers to him. They share their first kiss on their second date. On date three, when Madison decides to introduce him to her family, they quite literally can’t keep their hands off of one another. If you watch no other scene from this season, let it be that one. 

But a close-second for my favorite scene comes from James, a 37-year-old IT professional who lives with his parents in Boston. For his birthday, he is joined by his friends, as well as his date, Shelley, for a bonfire in his backyard. The smoke is out of control and an easily perturbed James is not pleased by the situation. It’s one of those fantastic confluences of a person being forced to work through a problem that’s progressively getting worse. To his credit, he handles it like a champ, and him and Shelley (who he’s still dating) end up sharing a kiss after his friends leave.

And then there’s Connor, who really deserves a spin-off; he’s that magnetic of a presence on camera. Connor is a 26-year-old who lives in Atlanta with his family. He loves history, books, swords, dragons, his Pomeranian Coco, foreign languages and any and all things British! His mother (who, too, deserves a spin-off), admits that Connor has not only been unlucky in love, but also has no friends outside of the family. “Connor evokes that feeling of early 00’s reality stars who were fascinating not because they were exceptional people, but because they were relatable people,” says Sean Ross, my Drop Your Buffs co-shot.

“While he’s not an unwilling participant, you can see that he’s thrown himself into lots because he wants the journey of finding love on TV, not the notoriety that comes along with it, which ironically makes him notable. He’s incredibly insightful and has a dry wit that makes you hang on his every word.”

I asked Sean who Connor reminds him of, because he has this very familiar presence without me being able to immediately place it.

“He has a Ronald from Jury Duty-esque quality where he’s incredibly earnest and lovable but is also totally in on the joke when appropriate.”

That is absolutely it.

To close out, I wanted to offer up a ranking of my six favorite quotables from the season.

6. “Are [Bert & Ernie] a gay couple or just roommates ?” - Abbey

5. “If cop a feel I must, then cop a feel I shall!” - Connor

4. "It's very interesting. But I'm not interested." - Abbey

3. “I’ve always wanted an intimate relationship. Instead, misery.” - Dani

2. “I’m a Coke addict.” - Madison 

1. "The taco of success always drips with the salsa of failure." - Dani