I feel bad for the guy. Hear me out! There was a time that Justin Timberlake was the hunk du jour for girls and gays alike with his soft, smooth and croon-heavy voice, his signature blonde curls and a marketing team that positioned him as the prototype for an Internet boyfriend. This was an undercurrent throughout much of my youth, beginning with the Disney channel film Model Behavior and apexing, if I had to say, with his first solo Rolling Stone cover in January of 2003. He was quintessential boy next door with just the right amount of edge that made a closeted gay like myself quiver in the nether region.
If you weren’t a teen at this moment in time, it’s hard to emphasize just how much mania there was around NSYNC, but particularly Justin, the golden goose of the gander. As he matured into adulthood, he was able to stave off your typical PR code red — a break-up with Britney Spears, the Super Bowl halftime show controversy — because of his positioning as, at the end of the day, a one-of-one musician. By releasing FutureSex/LoveSounds in 2006, Timberlake established and cemented himself as an innovator. Entertainment Weekly credited him with "redefining pop's cutting edge.” He went on to collaborate with Madonna, Duran Duran, Jonathan Demme and more, pick up a number of Grammy Awards and joined the elite Saturday Night Live five-timers club. Icon status seemed a lock.
But then things slowly started to change.
2019: Headline: “Justin Timberlake is spotted holding his Palmer costar Alisha Wainwright's hands during a night out in New Orleans.” This led to an Instagram apology: "A few weeks ago I displayed a strong lapse in judgment — but let me be clear — nothing happened between me and my costar. I drank way too much that night and I regret my behavior. I should have known better. This is not the example I want to set for my son."
2021: Following the release of Framing Britney Spears, Timberlake’s relationship and subsequent break-up with Spears was relitigated with a new lens by fans. This led to a revitalization of the Super Bowl halftime show controversy as well. Mounting pressure led Timberlake to finally issue another Instagram apology: “I’ve seen the messages, tags, comments, and concerns and I want to respond. I am deeply sorry for the times in my life where my actions contributed to the problem, where I spoke out of turn, or did not speak up for what was right… I apologize to my amazing wife and family for putting them through such an embarrassing situation, and I am focused on being the best husband and father I can be."
2023: Britney Spears releases her memoir, The Woman in Me, in which she reveals never-before-known details about their relationship, including an abortion that she had against her will at the behest of Timberlake. “If it had been left up to me alone, I never would have done it,” Spears wrote.
Which brings us to today: Timberlake’s attempt at a career renaissance via his sixth studio album, Everything I Thought It Was, which was released a few weeks ago to very paltry reviews. I think the album has some stand-out moments (“Paradise” and lead single “Selfish” stay on repeat), but it fails to make the case that Timberlake has staying power in the music industry. You get the sense, especially with the album title, that Timberlake is ready to open up, to be introspective and vulnerable, perhaps even self-flagellate, but the result misses the mark and commits the worst sin of all: being boring.
Nothing crystalizes this more than the album’s outro, “Conditions,” which I want to take some time to dissect below.