I'm Gay So I'm Legally Obligated To Break Down The 2023 Tony Awards
“Good evening. I am Marcia, and no matter what state we’re in, we can always say Gay… Harden.”
It’s June! Which means the obligatory rewatch of Leslie Uggams’s “June Is Bustin’ Out ALL Over” may commence, Che Diaz is coming, Target Pride Month merchandise backlash is somehow a thing and the Tony Awards are back in bloom.
I have a love/hate relationship with the Antoinette Perry Awards for Excellence in Broadway Theatre, more commonly known as the Tony Awards. Hate in that I’m prone to eviscerate most aspects of them each year (“They performed that number?” “They can’t think of a more clever way to present Best Play?” “Why doesn’t the cast of Wicked perform every year?”) while also — albeit deep-down — recognizing how formative the Tony Awards were for me as an aspiring BFA-holder (and for many, then and now) at bridging the humdrum and the fantastical.
Was it a flawless ceremony? Of course not. That’s not the point. It was quintessential live theater: a little clunky at times, earnest to the point of treacly at others, but overall an exuberant advertisement for the beating heart of Broadway. Below, 12 moments worth (re)visiting.
1. Ariana’s wordless opening
Anyone expecting the somewhat-anticipated follow-up to Ariana DeBose’s BAFTA rap was sadly left disappointed. DeBose was flanked by dancers for an instrumental performance of George Benson’s “On Broadway” opening the show. Never one to favor subtlety, DeBose explained the choice shortly thereafter during her speech: “I’m sure some of you caught that I opened the number by opening a script, blank pages. Very good reason for that.” She went on to express her solidarity with the writers’ strike, explaining that award shows are traditionally written by members of the Writers Guild of America and that tonight’s presenters would be flying unscripted.
2. “Hello, I’m Dominique Fishback. I’m not as scary as it seems.”
3. Kelli O’Hara and Victoria Clark Offer Selfie With Fans
4. “My parents, who are here tonight: The only thing I’ve ever wanted in this life is to be able to repay you for the sacrifices that you have made for me… but I work in the theater, so I like… I can’t do that.” — Brandon Uranowitz
5. CBS Bleeps The Self-Identifying F*ggot
“Growing up, I was called the F-word more times than I could remember. And all I can say now is I'm a f*ggot with a Tony!"
That was how Tony Award-winner Michael Arden closed his speech after winning Best Direction of a Musical. Not to discredit the moment, which was met with the kind of enthusiasm that a “fuck Trump” declaration would get in 2016, but a “f*ggot with a Tony” (which one could argue is somewhat of a prerequisite for winning the award) is more so prophecy fulfillment than it is an owning of his bullies. Still, credit to Arden for conjuring the night’s biggest “let me go and check Twitter real quick” moment.
6. Inspirational speeches!
“When your child tells you who they are, believe them.” — Brandon Uranowitz
“I want to tell everyone who doesn’t look like what the world is telling you you should look like: whether you’re not thin enough, not pretty enough, your identity is not right, who you love isn’t right — that doesn’t matter, because guess what? It’s right. And you belong somewhere.” — Bonnie Milligan
“And to our beautiful trans, nonbinary, queer youth: know that your queerness is what makes you beautiful and powerful. Everyone in this room sees you and needs you and we will fight along side you and we will win.” — Michael Arden
“Thank you for seeing me, Broadway. I should not be up here as a queer, non-binary, fat, Black, little baby from Boston, Massachusetts. And to anyone that thinks that they can’t do it, I’m going to look you dead in your face [and tell you] that you can do anything that you put your mind to.” — Alex Newell
"For every trans, nonbinary, gender nonconforming human who ever was told you couldn't be, you couldn't be seen, this is for you." — J. Harrison Ghee
7. Hi Joel Grey/John Kander. Bye Joel Grey/John Kander.
Joel Grey and John Kander were on hand to pick up Lifetime Achievement Awards. These were handed out during the pre-show (where Grey made a speech), but during the live telecast it was Ariana DeBose and Julianne Hough trotted out to perform Kander’s “Hot Honey Rag” from Chicago (Grey originated the role of Amos in the still-running revival). Grey and Kander were brought on. Applause. And promptly whisked off. I get the intention, but they could have given them each a sentence or even a simple “thank you.” It read, sadly, as the IRL “sure, Grandma, let’s get you to bed” meme.
8. R*n DeSantis Gets a Shout-Out
"While I’m certain that the current Grand Wizard... I’m sorry. Excuse me, governor of my home state of Florida…” said actress Denée Benton before handing the 2023 Excellence in Theatre Education Award to Jason Zembuch Young of South Plantation High School in Plantation, Florida. “I am sure that [DeSantis] will be changing the name of this town immediately.”
9. Jessica Chastain’s Face During the “Sweet Caroline” Singalong
“New York, New York,” “Roar,” “Sweet Caroline.”
*very Faye Dunaway in Mommie Dearest voice* No more [jukebox musicals].
10. Jason Robert Brown Cut Off By His Own Score
To cut off Jason Robert Brown is offensive enough. And then to have the music cutting him off be his song “All The Wasted Time”? You have to laugh. And then to have them cut to a Phantom of the Opera retrospective? You have to cry.
“Jason Robert Brown getting cut off by the Phantom chandelier feels like a metaphor for Broadway,” read a contender for tweet of the night.
11. “Good evening. I am Marcia, and no matter what state we’re in, we can always say Gay… Harden.”
12. Awkward!
From Best Direction of a Play winner Patrick Marber opening his speech with “I hate to complain…” to Best Actress in a Musical winner Victoria Clark saying she can’t wait to see how her co-stars careers unfold (“but of course by the time you’re my age, I’ll be dead”), there were a plethora of contenders for Most Awkward Acceptance Speech. See also: Nathan Lane calling the United Palace Theatre “so delightfully over the top, it looks like Beyoncé’s screening room”, Sean Hayes beginning his winner’s speech by noting “terrible blocking… we should be facing this way” and, overall, lots of tepid, awkward laughter. There was no shortage of moments that made you go…