SHUT UP EVAN: THE NEWSLETTER

SHUT UP EVAN: THE NEWSLETTER

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SHUT UP EVAN: THE NEWSLETTER
SHUT UP EVAN: THE NEWSLETTER
Something Shifted: What Is It About That Dakota/Ellen Interview?

Something Shifted: What Is It About That Dakota/Ellen Interview?

“It was like seeing someone tackle a storm head on… AND WIN!”

Evan Ross Katz's avatar
Evan Ross Katz
Oct 05, 2023
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SHUT UP EVAN: THE NEWSLETTER
SHUT UP EVAN: THE NEWSLETTER
Something Shifted: What Is It About That Dakota/Ellen Interview?
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Chills. Herstory. Never forget. Started it all. The Earth shifted. A cultural reset. My Roman Empire. The ultimate drag. This was Ellen’s January 6th. Should be a national holiday. Dakota ate like no one ever has before. The end of a decade, but the start of an age.

The year was 2019. It was Thanksgiving Eve when Dakota Johnson, clad in an Alessandra Rich plaid cropped jacket and matching checked tweed skirt, sat down for an interview on The Ellen DeGeneres Show promoting her newest project, The Peanut Butter Falcon. Within seconds, the interview became etched in the annals of pop culture infamy. There was no build-up, just an immediate off to the races.

But first, let’s back up to a year earlier: October 11, 2018. Johnson appeared on Ellen’s show to promote Bad Times at the El Royale and clear up rumors that she was expecting her first child with boyfriend Chris Martin. The rumors began circulating after Johnson had pink and blue balloons at her birthday party, which many perceived to be linked to a gender reveal. “So was it just a party at the house?” Ellen asked in her usual brand of well, shucks. “‘Cause I couldn’t make it.” Johnson politely giggled in response. A non-canonical yet important table-setting back and forth then ensued:

Dakota: Now I had to be like, “It was just my birthday,” and then all the people that I didn’t invite to my birthday know that I had a birthday party. [Laughs and grabs Ellen’s hand]

Ellen: I mean, I invited you to mine and you came to mine but…

Dakota: Well… but did you?

Ellen: Yeah.

Dakota: I think I kinda crashed your birthday party! I just came as arm candy.

Ellen: Yes, you were arm candy. [Laughs] I knew you’d be with [your boyfriend]. I didn’t have your number at the time, which is why I invited him, and I knew he’d bring you. But now I have your number, and I’ll call you directly. And now you have my number, so you could have called to invite me.

Dakota: [Laughs] I didn’t invite anybody! I didn’t plan it.

Ellen: Oh, it was a surprise?

Dakota: Mmhmm. Well, it… was… [giggles]

Ellen: No, it wasn’t a surprise. It was not.

[Dakota laughs again]

But did you?
Surprise?

Flash forward a year, back in the room where it happened, and Johnson’s birthday party — this one taking place at a vacant parking lot in Malibu (LOL) and attended by the likes of Gwyneth Paltrow and Miley Cyrus — was once again a pressing topic.

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