Love You Mean It Billie Eilish, But You're Wrong: People Do Say Things About Men's Bodies
But let’s give her some grace and consider what she likely meant.
In most instances, if you let someone ramble on long enough, they’ll undoubtedly say something stupid or unwise. Fran Lebowitz, Joan Didion, Cardi B — these are all examples of smart people that surely have said something they maybe shouldn’t have said. Or maybe shouldn’t have said out loud. Or maybe shouldn’t have said out loud with a camera or a recorder present. This was the case most recently for singer/songwriter Billie Eilish, who did an expansive profile in Variety clunkily headlined: “Billie Eilish Was Made for This: ‘Being a Woman Is Just Such a War, Forever.’” I say clunkily because Variety is implying she’s made for war while the Billie quote seems to imply an exhaustion at the need to.
Now, profiles are in their flop era. It really must be said. A recent Jeremy Allen White one for GQ followed days later by Jacob Elordi for the mag’s British offshoot failed to offer any kind of true insight. I don’t know who’s to blame: the subject, the writer, the magazine, the culture, some, both, all, none? Who’s to say. But there’s a lack of anything sticky being said. I judge most profiles these days by how many PopCrave tweets can be derived from them and the traction those tweets get in fueling a news cycle. “Jacob Elordi tells British GQ that he turned down an audition to play Superman: ‘That was immediately, “No, thank you.” That’s too much. That’s too dark for me.’” I’m bored.
There was a time when profiles gave you a rare glimpse into the psyche of the stars they cast their gaze upon. They dug, they illuminated, they uncovered. I’m reminded of a 2008 New Yorker profile of Alec Baldwin written by Ian Barker that my friend Jazmine Hughes turned me onto as an example of a burned-in-the-brain profile kicker.
“An hour or so later, [Baldwin] was driving his handsome Mercedes back into East Hampton, for a late lunch. He called his assistant. ‘You told him no dice to the event, correct? What else? Saying what?’ Pause. ‘What else? Which is when? What’s on the calendar now? Right? And her event is what? Whenever you see an invitation that says, “What could be more magical than an evening under the stars in the Hamptons?” you press delete. What’s going on with my voice-over for Major League Baseball? What’s their deadline? What else?’ He banged the steering wheel. ‘What? Speak more clearly, I can’t hear you. He said what? Satellite broadcast goes where? I’ll look at that. What else? O.K. Take a deep breath. I don’t know what you’re talking about. What does their letter say? O.K. What else? O.K. What else? O.K. What else?’”
Nothing PopCrave-tweetable because what is being said isn’t a quote but the chance to witness who this man is and how he operates his not-at-all normal life.
But alas, a flop era persists and true to the times, Billie Eilish gave an interview where she said a dumb thing and it’s getting picked up and people are mad. It’s how it goes. It’s not egregious enough to warrant the need for an apology. It’s just egregious enough, though, to have casual fans calling her out on social. Which I do think is notable! It’s less a problematic quote than it is one that’s simply factually incorrect and should have been pushed back on by the person profiling her. Alas! Alright, enough table setting and more than enough Alec Baldwin. What happened?