A Decades-in-the-Making Hug Between Yaya DaCosta and Tyra Banks
“I wanted her to feel what it feels like to fully be forgiven, appreciated and loved.”
“Eva [Marcille], Yaya [DaCosta], Toccara [Jones]. Those are my babygirls. I remember Yaya played Whitney Houston and I was like, ‘Girl, you need an Emmy.’”
That was Tyra Banks on the red carpet at the 2025 Essence Black Women in Hollywood Awards held February 27th at the Fairmont Century Plaza in Los Angeles. Banks was responding to a prompt from a reporter. It’s unlikely Banks knew DaCosta would be in attendance that night, and even more unlikely that she knew they’d have a run-in.
But run-in they did, after two decades of silence, only the occasional spotting of one another at an event and pretending the other one did not exist. This time, however, proved different.
Soon after, Banks took to the stage to accept her award as the Luminary Spotlight honoree. “Over 20 years ago I created a show called America’s Next Top Model,” Banks began.
“And you guys have no idea how hard we fought to bring the diversity to that television show at a time when it didn’t exist; to show different beauties at a time when the world was like, ‘What? You casting that?’ A time when people in the fashion industry were telling me, ‘You putting the girls from the hood on your show?’ I was like, ‘Why can the girl from the trailer park become a supermodel but the girl that’s chillin’ in the park in the hood can’t?’
She continued:
“And we fought and we struggled and we made it happen. Did we get it right? Hell no. I said some dumb shit. But I refuse to have my legacy be about some stuff linked together on the Internet when there were 24 cycles of changing the world. And I am so excited that I, and so many of us, have opened that door for others to follow. And now my 51-year-old, dimpled, cellulite-covered bigger tummy and 10 million times bigger titties is walking through that door that I opened with all of us behind us on that runway saying, ‘Baby, it’s just the beginning.’”
The speech received thunderous applause in the room, it was reported, but the reaction online was more polarizing. This could be in large part because of Top Model’s complex legacy which began a public reassessment around 2018. “Tyra Banks is a domestic terrorist. She was shaving bitches BALD and sending them home the next day,” read a viral tweet. But what really spurred the reckoning was a resurfaced clip in which Cycle 6 winner Danielle Evans is ridiculed by the show’s judging panel for refusing to have her tooth gap closed. Then came the larger think pieces reexamining similar moments that read very differently as cultural sensitivities have shifted and with the rise of the social media age.
A Business Insider headline from 2022:
“Tyra Banks wanted America's Next Top Model to fix fashion. Now, some contestants say the show was 'psychological warfare.'”
The same year, former winner Angela Preston came forward and told her damning story of being stripped of her crown because producers learned that she had worked as a sex worker. Since then, Top Model’s perception has largely been rewritten to carve out its place in history as regressive rather than progressive. And up until Banks’s speech, she’d largely demurred on the subject. “Been seeing the posts about the insensitivity of some past ANTM moments and I agree with you,” she tweeted in 2020.
“Looking back, those were some really off choices. Appreciate your honest feedback and am sending so much love and virtual hugs.”
But aside from that, Banks has never spoken at length about her thoughts on the show’s tainted legacy… until now.
Banks’s speech went viral. And now a non-recorded exchange from the evening is going viral as well — this one also featuring Banks. “I feel compelled to speak because ever since that speech aired, there were so many comments [in my DMs] asking all these questions, excited to see some beginnings of accountability, still mad cause they didn’t hear this apology that y’all have been talking about for years, and I wanted to share something with you,” DaCosta shared in a video released on Instagram. “I feel like I have the responsibility now as the only ANTM alum in that room, the only that is still out there in front of cameras, I felt the responsibility to speak up.”
“The story that I had been telling for so long was a story of trauma,” she begins.
“There are so many things that happened on that show, some of which y’all know — let’s talk about manipulative editing and weaponization of girls’ weaknesses from catalyzing body dysmorphia to eating disorders, from anti-Blackness to Blackface photoshoots. Like yes, there was real trauma and it wasn’t by accident but by design, the goal was entertainment over real world modeling preparation and especially over mental health — so it’s no wonder that tell-all documentaries are coming out and that contestants are speaking out after all these years, even decades, about healing from the shock of this experience — and to be honest, the most shocking of which did not air, but we not gonna get into that. What we’re getting to here is forgiveness.”
She continued:
“If I keep telling this story of blame, then I’m refusing to take ownership; I'm refusing to accept that everything in life is not happening to me but for me. And if that is true, then everything is serving me as long as I’m learning from it and growing from it. When I saw [Tyra Banks], the old me would have been feeling heat, maybe my heartbeat would have sped up or I would have tensed. And when I saw her, I was genuinely excited and I walked over and we had a beautiful conversation. And no, there’s no explicit apology, but you could see in that video she’s sick of people every once in a while bringing up these controversial clips from the show and, not for nothing, some of the same people who are making these little videos and commentaries of ‘OMG, can you believe this happened?’ [are the same people who] back then were watching it and laughing and not really seeing anything wrong with it.
Things change. Like she said, we all evolve. Society as a whole is shifting and so no wonder we as individuals are shifting. But let’s not pretend that the show was not wildly successful because its audience base was right up there on the judging table with Miss Jay, Mr. Jay, Tyra, Nigel, Nole, all of them. The audience was right up there at that table judging, feeling good about knowing better.
When I hear this speech, what I hear is courage. It takes courage to get up in front of people and finally say what’s been on her mind and heart for so many years and to insist on recognition for the positive and not just the negative. And she’s absolutely right. Before that show, there was nothing like it. It was a pioneer in terms of reality TV in general. It introduced so many people to different versions of beauty. There were plus-size people on the show, trans people on the show, gay people. It was all entertainment, yes, but the main takeaway is my connection to you all. I learned so much about myself. It’s what motivated me to gain tools to be able to regulate my nervous system.
So yes, the conversation was mostly small talk. A lot of praise and compliments. And it was just fun to reminisce. Like, actually fun. And then it was time for them to go. And before they went, I took her into an embrace. And there’s the hug that you give acquaintances, there’s the hug that you give strangers, and then there’s the hug that you get and that you give when words don’t suffice. Y’all, I held that woman. And when it was time for the hug to be over, I held some more. And I took a deep breath, because I wanted her to feel what it feels like to fully be forgiven, appreciated and loved. And we offer support in hopes that when it’s our turn, that we receive support too.
Something so magical happens when you make the choice to let something go. And then it’s gone. And then you’re like, ‘I’m free. And because I’m free, I want y'all to be free.’”
I think with these powerful words came a freedom, too, for many viewers who have had a difficult time situating the legacy of a show so formative. How do we hold space for something to be at once both progressive and regressive? Is that even possible? As DeCosta points out, many of those pointing fingers now are the ones that were casting judgement toward the contestants years ago. It’s easy to occupy the moral high ground with retrospect on your side. I’m happy for Banks in choosing to net relent, while also not attempting to hide. And proud of DeCosta for not only finding such peace, but offering such grace in both how she handled this situation and how she communicated it to us. It’s through this level of introspection and self-actualizing that others, too, can find forgiveness and healing.